Kiss of Death

I think I’m pretty well known as the resident vampire nerd, even writing my university dissertation on vampires, way back in 2005 (before anyone accuses me of simply being a Twihard!)… so I thought it was high time I contributed a post dedicated to all the sexy vamps out there in the world of pop culture.

Known for their powerful alluring qualities and seduction of innocent virgins, vampires are the subject of many a human’s sexual fantasy. Whether you’re a fully fledged fang-banger or just v-curious, one of these delicious immortals is sure to tempt you.

Vampires are well known for their fluid sense of sexuality, so that’s why I’m kicking the list off with Lily Munster.  A sexy homemaker with all the right gothic connections, daughter of Count Dracula himself and quite possibly a close relation of the Bride of Frankenstein, Lily’s beautiful and devoted to those she loves.

Pixie-haired Alice Cullen with her silvery-bell voice is my top vampire lady crush. She’s simply adorable, with a hint of danger and an edgy sense of style. Just think of the fun we’d have with makeovers and shopping. Best of all she sparkles in the sunshine – is there a better quality for a vampire lady friend?

True Blood’s Bill Compton is a real old-fashioned Southern gentleman, who can love you better than any living man ever could. What’s more, his blood heals and gives you vamp-style heightened senses – sexy and convenient!

What woman could resist Stefan Salvatore, a dark and brooding Italian vampire (read the book people – he’s supposed to be foreign)… smooth, sensual, sexy, and you can take him out in the day time. What’s not to love?

Alternatively if you prefer the bad boys, there’s always his dark and evil older brother Damon Salvatore. He’s the espresso to Stefan’s latte.

I love a tortured soul and Angel certainly has one. He’s dangerous but sensitive and devoted, always showing up at the right time. Doesn’t every girl dream of a love like Angel and Buffy’s? (Perhaps without the tragedy and terrible morning afters!)

If I’m going to indulge in a lesbian vampire fling, I might as well go with the original lady-loving vampire herself, Carmilla. Referenced in several popular films (British film Lesbian Vampire Killers is one of the more recent), she first appeared back in 1872. So she’d certainly be well versed in the art of vamp-girl on human-girl seduction. As a lover of all things Victoriana who is partial to a bit of goth, Carmilla’s got it all for me.

Vampira, the Finnish lady-vamp who presented horror films to the 1950s TV audience, is so cool she even has her own parody cartoon on the Simpsons, Booberella – is there any better way to immortalise an immortal?

Could there really be any other vamp than this ice cold beauty in at number one? (I must stress, I am specifically referring to Edward Cullen here, not R-Patz – his image is shown here for visualisation purposes only.) The devotion, the romance, the passion and the restraint – what I wouldn’t give to wake up slightly bruised and covered in feathers with him! Okay so maybe his mind-reading abilities could make things a little awkward at times, but when it comes to vampire lovers I’ll be the lamb to Edward’s lion any day.

3 thoughts on “Kiss of Death

  1. Yeh there’s quite a few I didn’t explore…Wanted to include Jasper – definitely Team Jasper after the last film…but didn’t want this post to be totally dedicated to Twilight!
    I liked Eric when he was alive and a long haired viking…vamp eric’s too heroine chic for me! Yeh…Lestat should be in there really shouldn’t he?!

  2. Ooh vampires, this is one of my favourite topics! And how Hallowe’en-ly appropriate! I have to agree with Miss Penn about Eric from True Blood (and what about Pam? and Jessica? So many fabulous vampire characters on that show!) as I can’t stand Bill (or Sookie), and I’m very glad you included Damon from TVD, because I think Stefan is possibly even more annoying than the Bill-and-Sookie combo.

    I’m also partial to a bit of Spike, Harmony and Darla (from Buffy/Angel), Otto the teetotal vampire newspaper photographer from the Discworld books, Vlad the Drac, Count Dracula hisself, Satánico Pandemónium (from From Dust Til Dawn), Anna and Rudger from Der klein Vampir, Lenore from Supernatural, Jack from Ultraviolet (the TV series, not the film) and and and and. In conclusion, I think, VAMPIRES GOOD.

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