Dean here’s the scam, the song was named after Sam

Supernatural revolves around the lives of two evil-hunting brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester. They’re both witty, handy with a shotgun and ridiculously pretty.

The weight of the show was very much on the actors portraying the brothers- Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles- especially in the earlier seasons, but they pulled it off, in large part due to their great chemistry.

Oh wait. Ahem. That wasn’t the kind of chemistry I was getting at…

It’s great fun watching the two of them on screen- but still everyone has a favourite, don’t they? In the season four episode ‘The Monster at the End of This Book’ the boys discover that they have fans- or at least the book series versions of themselves do- and that there’s Sam Girls and Dean Girls (and Slash Fans).

Miss Barista is a Dean Girl (and maybe just a bit of a Jensen fan too)

Who doesn’t love the Supernatural boys? Come on, they’re adorable, hilarious, and they’re fighting the supernatural! There’s wars and everything.

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this show. I kind of fell out of watching it for a while, but it pretty much sustained me for procrastination purposes during A-Levels. But it’s just Sam. Sam’s…lovely, but I can’t stop thinking of him in Gilmore Girls. Where, weirdly enough, he was called Dean. Yeah. And in Gilmore Girls, he was a whinier version of Sam, without all the redeeming evil-fighting qualities.

Whereas Jensen Ackles, well, where hasn’t he been a Big Damn Hero? Even in Smallville, where he was competing with Superman for a girl’s affection, he still did pretty well. He was in Dawson’s Creek, and even suggesting his girlfriend was a slut for not sleeping with him, couldn’t reduce my love for him.

And then there was Dark Angel. Did anyone else watch that? Jessica Alba as a clone made for battle, created from cat hormones (Miss Penn – WTF?!). James Cameron was smoking something during that one, really. But the best part about it (apart from all these weird half-animal creatures and the fact that Jessica Alba goes into heat, because of all the cat stuff in her body) is Jensen Ackles. He plays Alec, another clone, who is basically just a wry pain in the ass. A bit like our dear Dean, if Dean had animal hormones, and was grown in a lab. The point of this? Dean rules, Sam doesn’t.

And look, even the people on the tube agree with me!

Miss Penn is something of a a Sam Girl:

Really, I love both boys. And not just because their last name is Winchester, the town in which I went to sixth form, and had many delightful experiences. Or because they’re supercute. Or because their dear old (dead) dad is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who is superhot (like the elder, healthier brother of Robert Downey Jr, my top pin-up).

Oh hell, those are the reasons I love them!  As well as demonhunting/saving the world blahblah, homoeroticism, etc. But if I had to choose, it’d be Sam, by a teeny margin, and for a few reasons. Most of these refer to the ensouled version of Sam – though I have grown to quite like Evil Sam too, as he’s deadpan amusing.

First, I’m more a brain than brawns kind of girl, and while Dean may enjoy the odd Vonnegut, Sam’s definitely more bookish. I love a boy who does his research. He’d totally rock at some apocalyptic-themed pub quiz – and you know that there’s going to be loads of those once everyone realises the end is truly nigh.

I also like how he’s definitely the femme in the brother’s quasi-incestuous relationship, eating saladshakers  and being the responsible one (Cuz that’s how we women are! 😉 ). It’s often down to him to keep the mission on track and little Dean in Big Dean’s pants. He even has a special face for that.

Third, I like how tragiromantic Sam is. He begins the series motivated to fight evil by heartbreak, after the love is his life is “walled” by old Yellow Eyes. He takes forever to get over Jess, often looking utterly clueless when a woman pays him attention. (See the episode where Chuck’s sort of girlfriend drools all over him after tricking the brothers into attending their fan convention.) And then when he gets a leetle more confident about getting some, pretty much every girl is a monster (werewolf, demon, whatever, he’s sexed them), AND not long for this world. He can’t catch a break. He needs ME to mend him with love and butterfly kisses. I’m not a monster. I probably won’t die anytime soon.

Finally, Sam’s taller than Dean. Sorry Daddy Bandylegs – I prefer a man I can look up to.

Captain Pants is a Castiel Boy:

Castiel, innocent and oblivious, enters as an emotionless, abrupt and impatient angel. The hilarity of his character lies in his confused (mis)understanding of human behaviour. Only after much guidance from Sam and Dean does he display vague interpersonal abilities. Whereas Sam and Dean’s actions are generally grounded by a moral code and sympathy, Cas is more like the Terminator or perhaps the Tin Man seeking a heart. The spontaneous nature of his arrivals and his bizarre interest in pornography are both highly entertaining.

Check out some of his funniest moments:

Miss Thropist is firmly bi-boy:

For me it’s all about the relationship between the brothers, that’s what the show is based on, and I really couldn’t pick a favourite cos Sam without Dean- or vice-versa- just wouldn’t be right.

Dean is pretty much the perfect big brother- beneath all the bravado and teasing he obviously cares about Sam more than anything. Ever since their mother died in the demon-induced fire and his father placed Sam in Dean’s hands and ordered him to run, Sam’s been his first priority. And when Sam’s girlfriend Jessica dies in the same way in the pilot episode Dean’s the one who saves his life (he stops him running into the blaze) and as the series progresses he spends his time looking out for Sam. He even lets Sam drive his baby in an attempt to cheer him up!

He doesn’t only have to protect Sam from monsters either, he also tries to mediate the tension between Sam and their father and temper their practically suicidal single-mindedness in wanting to destroy the demon that killed Mary Winchester and Jess. When Sam starts to develop psychic powers Dean is totally freaked out, but he protects Sam- keeping it a secret from other hunters- and continues to assure him that Sam isn’t evil, and that he won’t let anything bad happen to him.

When something bad does happen to him Dean brings him back from the dead, at the expense of his own life- he gets a year to live before being dragged to hell. And after Dean is raised from perdition by Castiel and returns to Sam in season four he discovers that Sam’s lying to him, he’s been practising using his powers with Ruby. Dean reacts very much like a cuckolded spouse- emphasised by the fact that Sam is revealed to not only be drinking Ruby’s blood but to have had a sexual relationship with her. Sam and Dean do manage to mend their relationship eventually, and it’s Dean’s realisation of Sam’s faith in him that stops him giving into the angels’ plans to bring about the Apocalypse.

But this is not a tale of one-sided affection- although initially Sam is reluctant to hunt with Dean again, after Jess’ death he falls back into it easily. Sam notices when Dean’s been replaced by a shifter (‘Skin’), learns the hard way that he doesn’t want to leave Dean (‘Scarecrow’), will try anything to keep Dean alive (‘Faith’) and enjoys teasing his brother for falling for a girl (‘Route 666’). When Dean’s comatose at the beginning of season two Sam cannot accept the idea of his brother dying- to the point that he starts playing with a Ouija board.

In season three when Sam discovers that Dean sold his soul for him and only has one year left to live, saving Dean becomes his mission- one that he attacks with his usual focus. And in ‘A Very Supernatural Christmas’ we get to see a glimpse of how much Sam had adored his big brother when he was younger. Sam really is the quintessential baby brother- feeling put upon but still hero worshipping and fiercely loyal. Sam gets a taste of life without Dean in the Groundhog Day-esque episode ‘Mystery Spot’ where he initially has to watch Dean die over and over and over again, and then has him permanently taken away.

Sam essentially goes mad- losing all trace of himself- only cracking when he finds the Trickster again and literally begging him to return Dean. This foreshadows Sam being unable to save Dean in the season three finale.

Although Dean is disgusted with Sam’s “betrayal” in season four it echoes his actions in ‘Mystery Spot’; Sam wants to become the über-hunter in order to be best poised to get Dean back, and to avoid the emotional fallout of the loss. And once Dean is back Sam realises that he’s different- that he’s not dealing with his time in Hell- and moves to take the dominant position. He wants to be harder, better, faster, stronger so Dean doesn’t have to. In short, he wants to play big brother for a time, to take care of Dean.

Given that they’re the most important people in each other’s lives who are willing to give up everything for each other- including their lives- it isn’t all that surprising that it’s easy for their relationship to read as romantic and/or sexual. Having the brothers mistaken for a gay couple is played for laughs in various early episodes (‘Bugs’; ‘Something Wicked’; ‘Playthings’) but later the commentary becomes more about their relationship. Bobby points out to the boys that they are each other’s Achilles heel, the angels try to use this to their advantage- Zachariah even calling them “psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other”, in the siren episode (‘Sex and Violence’) Dean’s “perfect woman” is essentially a Sam who actually listens to him, in ‘It’s a Terrible Life’ Dean Smith and Sam Wesson still find each other and know they’re supposed to be together (although it seems suspiciously like Sam’s hitting on Dean), when the boys attend a Supernatural convention in ‘The Real Ghostbusters’ they discover there’s not just slash fans- there’s even a panel on the homoerotic subtext of their lives, and in season six Lisa (Dean’s girlfriend) flat-out tells him that he’s too close to Sam.

Which was all a rather long-winded way of saying that Supernatural is all about the relationship between the two of them- and that’s why the robo-Sam of season six was so unsettling for Dean and the audience.

But it’s not just the Winchesters I’m bi-boy for, I don’t think I could pick a favourite J, Jensen and Jared wouldn’t be so entertaining without the chemistry between them either.

Plus I’m not sure I could pick a favourite out of Sal and Dean- the On The Road characters with the ridiculous homoerotic subtext who certainly influenced the Winchester boys (and not just in name)- themselves based on Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady.

I don’t think I could even pick a favourite out of the original Dean and Sam (Martin and Davis Jr.), but if this song ever gets used in Supernatural I swear I will squeal with joy:

4 thoughts on “Dean here’s the scam, the song was named after Sam

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